One Liners beginning with the letter: I
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Contact me if you know of a One Liner that can be added to this list.
- I can handle pain until it hurts.
- I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- I didn’t use to finish sentences, but now I
- I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.
- I don’t have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.
- I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
- I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
- I intend to live forever. So far so good.
- I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
- I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- I’d hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
- If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
- If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
- If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
- If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
- If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
- If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
- I’m a hard act to follow, because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me.
- I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
- I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
- IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus? Or just a really cool opotamus?
- Isn’t it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important
than making it. - It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
- It’s been Monday all week.
- It’s lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
- I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.
- I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Contact me if you know of a One Liner that can be added to this list.